Drunken Pumpkin

Lawyer: “She had three children, right?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “How many were boys?”
Witness: “None.”
Lawyer: “Were there girls?”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “You say that the stairs went down to the basement?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “Have you lived in this town all your life?”
Witness: “Not yet.”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?”
Witness: “It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm.”
Lawyer: “And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “What is your brother-in-law’s name?”
Witness: “Borofkin.”
Lawyer: “What’s his first name?”
Witness: “I can’t remember.”
Lawyer: “He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name?”
Witness: “No. I tell you, I’m too excited.” (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) “Nathan, for heaven’s sake, tell them your first name!”

Act natural is an oxymoron

I think Jeff is finally getting over his disdain for those that copy him. At least, he is able to talk about it, even if it is in some obscure terms.

Jeff has always had a problem with people that copy his wonderful ideas. I remember him raging for days when Al Gore claimed to have invented the internet, when that was clearly the work of Jeff. And that was really nothing compared to the time Thomas Edison took all the credit for Jeff’s hard work. Granted, Jeff worked for Tommy, but still. That’s why the first batch of lightbulbs were shipped broken.

I don’t want to talk about Jeff and his body piercings. Especially in relation to those that have copied him. It’s really just too creepy.

Jeff used to be a street drummer himself. But that was back when the only available buckets were made out of wood. When all those plastic pails started showing up he complained about a lack of artistic integrity, and moved on to something else. Granted, the something else was painting portraits of tourists in the style of one of six great masters, but he still claimed he had artistic integrity.

Tune in tomorrow and see the world’s largest doughnut, in all of it’s various forms.