Drunken Pumpkin

Here’s a tribute to the ultimate Do It Yourselfer

I know that I saw a metaphor in this video for current geopolitical situations. Three points to you if you come up with more than one.

Excerpt from AP story found here

Scientists say abnormal “intersex” fish, with both male and female characteristics, have been discovered in the Potomac River and its tributaries across the Capitol Region, raising questions about how contaminants are affecting millions of people who drink tap water there.

Several things bother me about this, with the pollution and possible direct risk to humans being third or fourth on the list. Number one is easily the following comment:

Congress in 1996 required the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to study how the pollutants may affect human health. A decade later, however, officials said the agency hasn’t tested any chemical, the Post reported.

Shows exactly how concerned anyone really was about this subject.

Second on the list, that we are solely concerned with whether it will affect humans - if someone determined that it could not have any effect on humans, there would be a mass sigh of relief instead of considering the indirect consequences due to the veritable mutilation of the area’s biomass.

You promise to think about it and I promise to stop ranting about it.

Lawyer: “Were you acquainted with the deceased?”
Witness: “Yes sir.”
Lawyer: “Before or after he died?”
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Lawyer: “Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
Witness: “No. This is how I dress when I go to work.”
——————————————————-
The Court: “Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “Did he pick the dog up by the ears?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “What was he doing with the dog’s ears?”
Witness: “Picking them up in the air.”
Lawyer: “Where was the dog at this time?”
Witness: “Attached to the ears.”
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Lawyer: “When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?”
Other Lawyer: “Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
Witness: “Oral.”
Lawyer: “How old are you?”
Witness: “Oral.”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “What is your relationship with the plaintiff?”
Witness: “She is my daughter.”
Lawyer: “Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?”

A language is a dialect that has an army and a navy ~ Max Weinreich

I’ve heard reports that Steve Irwin actually pulled the stinger out of his own chest before he died. I knew the man had some nerve, but damn that’s intense.

And that’s all I’m gonna say about something that is saturating our news stations right now.

Back in the days when Jeff worked for William Randolph Hearst newsmen reported on the news and spun it out so as to support the policies of their financial backers. And that’s pretty much what still happens today. But even someone as attention grabbing as Hearst realized that reporters just aren’t that interesting and probably shouldn’t be in the limelight just for doing their job.

Jeff was frequently scolded by Bill for placing himself in the center of some controversy where he really didn’t belong. Jeff frequently interviewed himself as a political advisor to Congress about welfare practices, which might not have been a problem for Hearst had Jeff not placed his own full name in both slots as interviewer and interviewee. Hearst thought that was just bad form, while Jeff thought it was just common sense.

Jeff even reported on the Fried chicken stands that were springing up around the world that mimiced that famous one, but had a tendency to start the legal battles himself. He would file lawsuits claiming to be Colonel Sanders, even after Sanders was dead, and then report on the mayhem that ensued, but all of that was well after Hearst disappeared and went into hiding were he remains to this day.

Tune in tomorrow when Jeff tells about life in the Castle as a dress maker to the stars.