Drunken Pumpkin

The Thundercats bloopers. The audio is real, the images have been doctored to fit. This clip contains Adult Language and is NOT safe for work (unless you have headphones).

Support your local brewery. . . you never know when they may come in handy.

This commercial is not explicit, however if your boss looks over your shoulder at the wrong moment it could cause some concern.

Too funny

The funniest joke in the world is
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his
eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make
sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now
what?”

Read an article on the research here

Now excuse me while I go count the words in my next duck joke.

Lawyer: “Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “And what did he do then?”
Witness: “He came home, and next morning he was dead.”
Lawyer: “So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?”
Witness: “He didn’t offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture.”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?”
Witness: “I didn’t see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.”
Lawyer: “It was covered?”
Witness: “Yes, bandaged.”
Lawyer: “Then, later on…what did you see?”
Witness: “I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.”
——————————————————-
Lawyer: “Could you see him from where you were standing?”
Witness: “I could see his head.”
Lawyer: “And where was his head?”
Witness: “Just above his shoulders.”

Always acknowledge a fault.  This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.  ~ Mark Twain

Jeff is quite the fan of building his own stuff. He tried to build his own car once out of empty soda cans and a Stirling Engine that he found in a trash can somewhere. It didn’t turn out quite the way that he expected. The boiler that was required to make the engine work had a nasty habit of melting all of the body components, and he ended up sitting on the ground before the engine had warmed up enough to even power the amp on his home built 8-track player he had installed for a radio.

He may have found the Army beach landing as he looked for some directions to create a bed of quicksand in his back yard. Jeff’s goal was to cut down on the amount of mowing he had to do as well as keep the neighbors from coming over to “borrow” his barbecue set.

However, the coupling of the beach landing with the Peugot commercial may have prompted Jeff to modify his other car (the one he bought) into a landing vehicle. At least, I hope that’s why he has taken to beating on it with a sledgehammer.

My only hope is that Jeff will be a little more successful with this attempt, as it is likely he will drive it out into the river as a test and vehicles that get stuck in the river bed tend to stay there. That would leave Jeff with only his homemade car to get to work, and that only has a max speed of half a mile an hour, assuming the frame doesn’t liquify.

And the alien thing is there to satisfy Jeff’s disco fetish. Hence the 8-track player in the car instead of something a little more modern.

Tune in tomorrow to see if Jeff will post any of his other DIY projects involving stirling engines and magnetic tape.