Drunken Pumpkin

A hilarious account of the dangers inherent in obsessing over nostalgia can be found here.

Pre-school children were asked the following question: “In which direction is the bus pictured below traveling?”

Look carefully at the picture.

Do you know the answer?

The only possible answers are “left” or “right.”

Still don’t know?
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In case you have been hiding from the news, Florida House Representative Mark Foley resigned Friday after it came to light that, despite being the Co-Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children and sponsoring multiple bills to protect children from online predators, had sent multiple sexually explicit emails and instant messages to House pages, all under the age of eighteen. Articles available here, here. and here.

Goals for this recipe:
quantity: 5.5 gal
starting SG: 1.045 - 1.055
finishing SG: 1.010 - 1.015
ABV: 5%
bitterness: 20-30 IBU
color: 8-10 SRM

Extract Recipe:
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. ~ Groucho Marx

The gods confound the man who first found out
How to distinguish hours! Confound him, too,
Who in this place set up a sun-dial
To cut and hack my days so wretchedly
Into small portions. When I was a boy
My belly was my sun-dial; one more sure,
Truer, and more exact than any of them.
This dial told me when ’twas proper time
To go to dinner, when I had aught to eat.
But now-a-days, why, even when I have,
I can’t fall-to, unless the sun give leave.
The town’s so full of these confounded dials,
The greatest part of its inhabitants,
Shrunk up with hunger, creep along the streets.
~ Titus Maccius Plautus

A man cannot leave a better legacy to the world than a well-educated family ~ Thomas Scott

You know, with a last name like “Delay” you’d think Tom would be a member of the Senate as opposed to the House. Over there he could have become the king of the filibuster on just his name alone.

Jeff used to work as a page in the Senate. He always hated those days when one group or another was trying a filibuster over some pet project that they were trying to get passed or ashcanned. It always seemed to be his job to hold the chamberpot so that they wouldn’t have to leave the floor and lose control. Jeff has told stories of some of our congressman that have a little trouble aiming. And he almost always does so with a little shiver.

From the piggy bank photo it appears that being a cubicle slave in the basement of an office building must not be the financial wonderland that Jeff previously thought it would be. I guess it truly is a good thing that Jeff works there as a labor of love.

Barney Rubble is probably not as psychotic as that short clip might suggest. In reality, that is just part of Jeff’s campaign to discredit Barney and encourage a divorce between Barney and Betty. All of this to fulfill a childhood dream of marrying Betty Rubble himself. I really don’t have the heart to tell him that she’s just a cartoon.

Tune in tomorrow when we begin our political analysis of the coming election, and realize that our best bet is Andy Griffith as a write in candidate.