Drunken Pumpkin

As the work week wound down last Friday Jeff was clearly looking forward to his weekend, well most of his weekend, anyway.

With Halloween only a few days out Jeff had plans to replicate the dog ghost costumes in order to increase his candy intake. The chief problem with this plan is Jeff’s lack of a suitably trained group of dogs to do his evil bidding. He has dogs, yes, but his are the kind that sniff your crotch or run away if you come too close to them. And let’s face it, that sort of behavior isn’t going to score a whole lot of candy for anyone. So Jeff was thinking maybe he’d just give it a go with the stray neighborhood cats instead, since they’re all a little better behaved.

Jeff was looking forward to the weekend until he found the He said, She heard song again. He remembered the last time that he played that song for his wife. It did not go well. In fact, that’s Jeff on the couch on stilts. Elsa can be very vindictive at times. But not as much a jilted lover on the bomb squad.

Tune in later and hear more of the exploits of Jeff.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Jeff was out looking for someone to make him feel a bit better about himself on Saturday. And really, what makes one feel more superior than knowing that you didn’t get made fun of by the Canadians?

Jeff doesn’t live in Arkansas. So, the number of people out there that just don’t understand that they were being made fun of is no real concern to Jeff. That is, until he has to go out there on a business trip, and these are the folks driving his cab and handling his luggage. But hey, who needs clean underwear anyway?

Holy. Roman. Empire.
’nuff said.

I seem to have contracted the plague. As a result you have all had to decipher for yourself just what Jeff was up to. And I know that sometimes Jeff likes to hide his intentions to make my life difficult, so I have to apologize for my lack of guidance in this matter.

Tomorrow I promise a full report on the activities of the mysterious Jeff for the past four days. In order to keep it from getting too long-winded I may need to break that up throughout the day, so remember to stop back by to get the full replay of Jeff movements.

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Tune in tomorrow for detailed analysis of the actions of Jeff and his unsettling love for monkeys.

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program. ~ George W. Bush

All great truths begin as blasphemies ~ George Bernard Shaw

It’s an acquired taste.