Drunken Pumpkin

Talk about a crafty leprechaun.

The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said “No, I can’t live with Poppa bear, he beats me up”

“OK,” said the judge, “then you want to live with your mother, right?”

“No way!” replied baby bear, “She beats me worse than Poppa bear does.”

The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn’t quite know what to do. “Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered baby bear, “my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.”

“You’re sure she will treat you well and won’t beat you?” asked the judge.

“Oh definitely,” said baby bear, “the Chicago Bears don’t beat anybody.”

To be pleased with one’s limits is a wretched state.

Jeff was out scouring the internet for more of its glorious gold when he encountered a number of sites talking about Anti-Semitism. Some of them had some rather interesting grammar and webdesign characteristics (you know what I’m talking about, don’t try to play innocent). And of course Jeff was a little confused about the whole situation. After all, who could be opposed to meaning?

Well, he found the site about Microsoft and the Wingdings controversy and thought, “Well, I could easily see Microsoft being against meanings, but what’s that star have to do with anything?” And Microsoft frequently is a tool of the devil to make our world bereft of any sort of cognitive ability (quick, when do you capitalize a word, other than the beginning of a sentence? See what I mean?)

And then Jeff went out to find out more about this whole Anti-Semitic thing; finding even more pages that we really wouldn’t encourage anyone to go to. Eventually, Jeff bothered to look the bloody word up and was a little horrified at the idea. He was thinking Anti-Semantic, and that’s something completely different. That’s what Michael Sheehan is. Anti-Semantic, not Anti-Semitic, although, he might be that as well. But I have no evidence of that.

Tune in tomorrow on your way to the polls (if you’re in the US, that is) for more fun and excitement with language and meaning.