Thought for the day ~ Lily Tomlin
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
{ Monthly Archives }
December 2006
I’ve Been Typing on the Wrong Thing
After that biscotti incident my judgement became a little clouded. Some part of my mind translated WordPress into Letterpress, and I’ve been working on a single color relief press for the last week. Boy do I feel silly.
And what has Jeff been up to? Holding down the fort as always. You should all send him a letter telling him how glad you are that he’s responsible and I’m confused.
Well, in the immortal words of the Scurvy Pirates, “We’re going to get drunk now, we invite you to do the same.”
We’ll be back on Tuesday with more insanity. Make sure to stick around I have some big plans for the coming year.
Pyrophage out.
Thought for the day ~ Rodney Dangerfield
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Closed for the Holiday
but not really. The site will be up (obviously), however due to time crunches there will probably not be any significant posts over this holiday weekend. Feel free to use the calendar on the left side of your screen to peruse our past 6 months worth of offerings, have a safe and happy new year, and
See you next year!
Some of us wait all year to be able to say that.
Thought for the day ~ Johnny Carson
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Fun urban legends
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Thought for the day ~ Rita Mae Brown
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it’s you.
What was Pyrophage doing - today?
Pyrophage is currently resting well after a trip to the local county emergency room. He apparently was perusing the site this morning, attempting to analyze my limited posts of yesterday and tripped over the statistic that the Drunken Pumpkin surpassed 100K visits this morning and promptly inhaled his biscotti. While that is not a whole lot of visits in the shadow of giants (Google, MSN, Yahoo, etc.), it’s precisely the availability of so many alternatives that makes every visitor to the Drunken Pumpkin a pleasant surprise. This site was created exclusively as a plaything for Pyrophage and myself, and we never actually expected anyone to have any interest in visiting it besides us. As of the month of December, I am receiving no less than 15 emails a day at my Drunken-Pumpkin.com address (most of them offering me the opportunity to enlarge body parts or purchase Rolex’s at Timex prices).
Anyway, my thanks to every single person who has visited this site more than once. For those who never came back, that’s okay (I had been considering barring THOSE people anyway).
Pyrophage will thank you, just as soon as his left lung clears.
Let’s hope this will always be a crime
SEPTEMBER 12–North Carolina cops are searching for a guy who successfully passed a $200 bill bearing George W. Bush’s portrait and a drawing of the White House complete with lawn signs reading “We like ice cream” and “USA deserves a tax cut.” The phony Bush bill–a copy of which you’ll find below–was presented to a cashier at a Food Lion in Roanoke Rapids on September 6 by an unidentified male who was seeking to pay for $150 in groceries. Remarkably, the cashier accepted the counterfeit note and gave the man $50 change. In a separate incident involving a different perp, Roanoke Rapids cops Tuesday arrested Michael Harris, 24, for attempting last month to pass an identical $200 Bush bill at a convenience store.
Story found in The Smoking Gun.com
