Drunken Pumpkin

Pyrophage is currently resting well after a trip to the local county emergency room. He apparently was perusing the site this morning, attempting to analyze my limited posts of yesterday and tripped over the statistic that the Drunken Pumpkin surpassed 100K visits this morning and promptly inhaled his biscotti. While that is not a whole lot of visits in the shadow of giants (Google, MSN, Yahoo, etc.), it’s precisely the availability of so many alternatives that makes every visitor to the Drunken Pumpkin a pleasant surprise. This site was created exclusively as a plaything for Pyrophage and myself, and we never actually expected anyone to have any interest in visiting it besides us. As of the month of December, I am receiving no less than 15 emails a day at my Drunken-Pumpkin.com address (most of them offering me the opportunity to enlarge body parts or purchase Rolex’s at Timex prices).

Anyway, my thanks to every single person who has visited this site more than once. For those who never came back, that’s okay (I had been considering barring THOSE people anyway).

Pyrophage will thank you, just as soon as his left lung clears.

SEPTEMBER 12–North Carolina cops are searching for a guy who successfully passed a $200 bill bearing George W. Bush’s portrait and a drawing of the White House complete with lawn signs reading “We like ice cream” and “USA deserves a tax cut.” The phony Bush bill–a copy of which you’ll find below–was presented to a cashier at a Food Lion in Roanoke Rapids on September 6 by an unidentified male who was seeking to pay for $150 in groceries. Remarkably, the cashier accepted the counterfeit note and gave the man $50 change. In a separate incident involving a different perp, Roanoke Rapids cops Tuesday arrested Michael Harris, 24, for attempting last month to pass an identical $200 Bush bill at a convenience store.

Story found in The Smoking Gun.com

Continue Reading »

Word spread through the British criminal fraternity that microchips used in Ford automobile radios could be used to decode premium channels when used to modify digital TV boxes.

The myth caused automobile crimes to soar fourfold in November of 2006 and police figures revealed that thefts of Ford radios accounted for 95 per cent.

The full story can be found at The Bolton News.co.uk and Scopes.com

I love to use this recipe every New Year’s and have always had great success.

Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
2-1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle favorite brand of tequila

Continue Reading »

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

U.S. President Gerald Ford, died December 26th, 2006