Drunken Pumpkin

A radio station held a contest titled “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” wherein participants drank as much water as they could and tried not to urinate. The person who held out the longest won a Nintendo Wii.

Apparently Jennifer Strange ‘resigned’ from the contest. A co-worker said that she complained of headaches hours after the contest. She was found dead in her home, having died of water intoxication according to the local coroner’s office.

A full article detailing the event can be found at the BBC. No word on who won the contest.

Chen, 39, says he started receiving a stream of text messages in July 2004.

“It was so annoying, and for a long time I wondered why I was getting all these text messages,” he said.

Chen discovered that his number had been used in a TV series called “Chinese Police — September Storm,” broadcast between 2004-06 and later released on DVD. A villain spoke the number slowly, to allow another character to write it down.

The company said it made up the number from a staff member’s birthday and did not mean to cause trouble, according to Xinhua.

- as the BBC so aptly put it, “It is not immediately clear whether or not Mr Chen has now decided to change his phone number.”

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.

Woo-hoo! MLK endorsed my thought process!

‘Imagine you are a movie theatre capable of rational thought.‘

Too much transcendentalism for a Monday morning.

In other news Pyrophage returns from the grave to post on Drunken Pumpkin again.

While it was a joke that my big plans for the new year included more sporadic posts, that seems to be exactly what’s happening. However, Jeff just keeps churning the links and entertaining tidbits out. It is this mechanical reliability that brings me back to a prior conjecture that Jeff is really an A.I. and not a real person at all. I grant that I actually know Jeff and had classes with him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a fabricated being.

For further evidence I present Jeff’s posts of the last few days. Jeff points out the flaw in robbing a gun shop with a knife. Obviously this is a logic fault on the part of the would be criminal. And machines do not cope well with logic faults. It makes their circuits itch, and calomine doesn’t work so well on circuit boards.

Next up is his distrust of the outing club. Now, to normal people, we might distrust their squirrelly wording in their motto. But Jeff just distrusts people that like the outdoors in general. I personally find this post to be the most cunning, because he reaches a similar conclusion as other “real” people for different reasons.

And finally there is Jeff’s extended explanation of the repost of Worms. Imagine how upset you would be if you owned a movie theater and everytime you put out the posters for the new movies some yahoo would plaster an ad for viagra over the top of it. Clearly, that would be annoying. Now imagine that you happened to be the movie theater, somehow capable of rational thought, like an A.I. Not only are you now being violated by the posters, you are being deprived of your very reason for being. So, you must come up with some method of remedying the problem, that may be unorthodox, and you would feel inclined to explain to your returning friends just what is going on. Just like Jeff.

Tune in tomorrow for more computer propoganda and help avert the rise of the machines, because a happy computer won’t try to eat your eyes as you sleep.