{ Daily Archives }
January 18th, 2007
Scoffing at Pyrophage!
How can you ask, “can you trust Benjamin Franklin?”
Benjamin Franklin has gotten me out of trouble several times.
To all the kids who survived the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s
We survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
We were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because we were always outside playing
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day and we were okay.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CDs, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms; we had friends and we went outside and found them.
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment.
We had freedom, failure, success, and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it.
You may want to point this out to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!
Thought for the day ~ Anonymous
Double your drive space - delete windows.
If our number of return visitors begins dropping after this quote, I will be sorely disappointed in the world at large.
Can You Trust Ben Franklin?
Okay, Jeff was looking into the whole “Beer is a gift from God” thing yesterday. One thing that is important to keep in mind about alcohol is that it tends to cause a little liver damage over an extended period of time. So, liver damage is a gift from God.
Next up Jeff looked into other ways to cause liver damage. I’m shocked that he didn’t post anything about fire-eating leading to liver damage (those chemicals are really bad for you) as that is what “pyrophage” means and he likes to point that kind of thing out on occassion. But what he did find was the DCA stuff. And that makes DCA and fire-eating both gifts from God, assuming that we trust both Jeff and Ben Franklin.
So, DCA is a gift from God, since it causes liver damage, like beer, and as a bonus seems to cure cancer. Seems pretty win-win if you ask me. And all because Jeff was looking around for a way to weasel in Franklin on his birthday. Nowhere else can you get such high level logic in a humor site. So, tell all of your friends they should be reading Drunken Pumpkin.
Tune in tomorrow when Jeff finds a cure for piles by way of space monkeys and dandruff.
