In other news Pyrophage returns from the grave to post on Drunken Pumpkin again.
While it was a joke that my big plans for the new year included more sporadic posts, that seems to be exactly what’s happening. However, Jeff just keeps churning the links and entertaining tidbits out. It is this mechanical reliability that brings me back to a prior conjecture that Jeff is really an A.I. and not a real person at all. I grant that I actually know Jeff and had classes with him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a fabricated being.
For further evidence I present Jeff’s posts of the last few days. Jeff points out the flaw in robbing a gun shop with a knife. Obviously this is a logic fault on the part of the would be criminal. And machines do not cope well with logic faults. It makes their circuits itch, and calomine doesn’t work so well on circuit boards.
Next up is his distrust of the outing club. Now, to normal people, we might distrust their squirrelly wording in their motto. But Jeff just distrusts people that like the outdoors in general. I personally find this post to be the most cunning, because he reaches a similar conclusion as other “real” people for different reasons.
And finally there is Jeff’s extended explanation of the repost of Worms. Imagine how upset you would be if you owned a movie theater and everytime you put out the posters for the new movies some yahoo would plaster an ad for viagra over the top of it. Clearly, that would be annoying. Now imagine that you happened to be the movie theater, somehow capable of rational thought, like an A.I. Not only are you now being violated by the posters, you are being deprived of your very reason for being. So, you must come up with some method of remedying the problem, that may be unorthodox, and you would feel inclined to explain to your returning friends just what is going on. Just like Jeff.
Tune in tomorrow for more computer propoganda and help avert the rise of the machines, because a happy computer won’t try to eat your eyes as you sleep.
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