Drunken Pumpkin :: 2007

O.M.’s Seven Conditions for Superhero Work
1) Don’t go online: sorry, you must become a more than a marketing concept and an ego-gratification idol to truly strike fear into the hearts of criminals. Marketing don’t cut it, let someone else do that. You must become a legend and that takes stringent measures! Navy Seal operations don’t go onto the World Wide Web and neither should the activities of those attempting to fight criminals, REAL CRIMINALS: nasty, evil megathugs who’d kill you in a second! This isn’t drama! These people are real, I’ve seen them, you’ve seen them! Don’t kid yourself, evil and and insanity will shatter all of your illusions and preconceptions. You have to be TOTALLY PREPARED to deal with these people!

2) I envision a superhero as being a very well-trained, abnormally strong Navy Seal type with several black belts and high ranks in: Tae Kwon Do, Shao-Lin Kung Fu, Karate-Do, Kenpo, Aikido, Krav Maga or any combination thereof plus others I have not mentioned. Boxing and street fighting skills would come in handy as well as counter insurgency, deep cover and espionage skills. Sorry folks to REALLY fight crime and WIN nothing less will do! Did I mention a monster regimen of weight training? Yes, I think that as well as training in acrobatics, base-jumping, rock-climbing and track is certainly the order of the day as well.

3) ACCESS! Military and law enforcement personell have access to the cutting edge of weaponry, armor and tactical equipment. Unless you are or have been a member of the military and/or law enforcement community you wouldn’t know much about this stuff. Of course brains and knowledge can cause one to aquire these goods which leads me to…

4) Science: Training in science and technology would obviously help. Knowing about the ins and outs of chemistry/stoichiometry, as well as the laws of physics certainly couldn’t hurt.

5) The true Batman element! Yeah money. For the powerful, state-of-the-art equipment that YOU WILL NEED it takes a lot of money. These things are expensive.

6) High IQ: Seems a little counter-intuitive huh? LOL! Anyway, that plus a massive dose of street smarts, higher than normal strength and agility plus senses sharpened through TRAINING are good pre-requisites. Meaning work-out, get a full physical examination by a licensed M.D. and train your mind! Educate yourself in all forms of law enforcement, science, human behavior, psychology, parapsychology, customs, law and geography.

7) A stout heart, faith (spirituality), a willingness to make a real difference and an iron will! I think THIS is what some of these folks already have God bless them, esp. Terrifica and Captain Jackson. I just worry about the lack of the other requirements.

Excerpted from comments posted at WarrenEllis.com

2007 02 22

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Radio Silence is Broken

I’ve always tried to make these little projects fairly anonymous. I did a Button project a couple of years ago on a college campus and never even told my students about it. And I was pretty glad of that. When the local paper heard about it they asked for an interview and I agreed. The lazy sod that did it just transcribed our little talk, umms and ahhs included, and called that an article. I was not amused. Neither were most of my friends. So, I’ve kept a bit of distance from attaching my real world self to anything online. Until now.

Instead of looking all over the place for cool fire photos I just went into my own image folder. Below is a picture of me eating fire. After all, that is what the name means.
enjoy.

Pyrophage eating fire