Drunken Pumpkin

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, “Grandpa, did God make you?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” he answered, “God made me a long time ago.”

“Oh,” she paused, “grandpa, did God make me too?”

“Yes, indeed, honey,” he said, “God made you just a little while ago.”

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he ?”

The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
“No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook.”

After the dedication of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That pastor said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!”

A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

“How do you know what to say?” he asked.

“Why, God tells me.”

“Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?”

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.”

“That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”

“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.”

We have, in fact, two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice, and another which we practice but seldom preach.

I know that at one point I knew what this type of turn of phrase was called, but I’m afraid that I do not any longer. The closest that I can come up with is antithesis, though by definition it is close but does not quite fit.

Any clarification from anyone with a better memory than mine would be most appreciated.

EDIT: The structure is called a Chiasmus. Where a string is reversed and repeated, creating an AB:BA sort of structure. I wonder if that’s where the band name came from?
pyro

Well, it’s been about three days since I last posted. And I can tell by our numbers that there has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth, but I’m back now so everything should be just fine.

But what are you doing here on a Holiday? Shouldn’t you be out looking for eggs left by a giant rabbit? Although, in my experience, what rabbits leave behind are a little less ovoid than an egg, and you certainly shouldn’t pick them up to keep for later.

Today is the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus, or the Coming of Spring, or the End of Passover, or the Day off of Work, go out and do something. The Internet will still be here when you get back. I promise. I’ll watch it for you.

Tune in tomorrow when the secret word is “cabbage”.