Drunken Pumpkin

If you’ve visited our site before, or have had a chance to look around, you know that I enjoy quotations quite a bit. Given the purpose to Memorial Day (to take time to reflect on those that have sacrificed for our freedoms), I am going to be taking this opportunity to share with you some of my favorite speechs from notable figures in the history of world freedom.

By the way, I do realize that today is only Memorial Day in the US and that it’s definition is usually limited to rememberance of members of the Armed Forces, but we do have a world wide audience here (believe it or not, we do - we really have an audience!). Besides, one of the speeches that I plan to share is a speech by Frederick Douglass, and the only ‘holiday’ that anyone seems to pay the great man tribute is Black History month, which tends to be a poor salutation to the incredible endeavors of this man.

So when you are reading the speeches, don’t worry about whether the orator is actually someone for whom Memorial Day is celebrated in the US. Think instead about whether the speaker is worthy of memorialization.

This is the first flash anything that I’ve ever made, so while it is not stupendous, I’m proud and wanted to share. And of course, what image would I use but the one that inspired the birth of the Drunken Pumpkin?

Life is a vacation from two eternities, who wants to waste those precious years worrying about what happens when you get back to forever?

Dr. Jack Kevorkian is scheduled for release from prison June 1st of this year. He has stated that he will not advise nor counsel anyone regarding assisted suicide ever again. It’s a tetchy issue, I tend to see it as falling into the, “make it legal for those who want it, doesn’t hurt those who don’t” category of topics, but regardless of what stance you take on assisted suicide, I believe that you will likely find this disgusting…

The state wants to go after money that Kevorkian makes following his release to help cover the cost of his incarceration. [Kevorkian’s lawyer] Morganroth has said his client has been offered as much as $100,000 to speak. Many of those speeches are expected to be on assisted suicide.

Apparently the state of Michigan’s Attorney General’s office is actively seeking ways to skim off the top of the money that they expect Kevorkian to make, given his name recognition and high public profile.

The role of an Attorney General?

The chief law officer of the state, empowered to act in all litigation in which the law-executing power is a party, and to advise this supreme executive whenever required

Now, the highest law officer in the state of Michigan is seeking ways to circumvent the decision of the court and a jury of the defendant’s peers.

(Sources: Star-Telegram.com, ZeeNews.com, WZZM13, (Michigan Television Station))

Der Mensch erfand die Atombombe, doch keine Maus der Welt würde eine Mausefalle konstruieren.

Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap.

Looking around at the Germans I have encountered, I haven’t really seen any that were particularly overweight. And I wondered what was up with that.

So far I’ve noticed that Germans eat a lot, and they also tend to eat those things that most sane folks consider fattening, cheese, meat, and so forth. They also tend to drink like fish, at least to my non-drinking eyes. Consequently, they should be quite the stout bunch, but no, not really.

However, I think I may have sorted out why. In the U.S. we have all of these laws declaring that our doorways have to be wide enough to accomodate a wheelchair laden with four camels and a swallow. In Germany, I’m pretty sure these rules don’t really exist. I’ve seen restroom doors here that look like they go into a cupboard. These things are only a foot and a half across. So, if you’re too fat, you can’t pee indoors.

My theory is based around the idea that goldfish will grow to fit their environment. Big pond = big fish. Maybe the same holds true for people. If you aren’t scraping the sides of the door when you walk in, you can stand to be a little bigger. Or, big doors = fat people.

That’s just my theory.

Tune in tomorrow when Jeff ignores you, but you take that time to learn about Einstein’s special theory of relativity instead of laughing at our nations President.

Explanation from Wikipedia:

Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, and since then has been extended to an annual event. On this day, fans carry a towel with them throughout the day. The towel is a reference to Adams’s popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.