Drunken Pumpkin

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

[Press Secretary Tony] Snow added that the veto would not affect private funding of embryonic stem cell research, but that Bush “has just determined that it is morally inappropriate” for federal taxpayers who may disagree to fund it.

There is, however, no moral concern when funding other US policies despite those taxpayers who may disagree with the direction of US foreign policy, illegal domestic wiretapping, suspension of habeas corpus and the Geneva conventions, etc.

The full article is available at the LATimes

Well, as promised I ranted about the internet yesterday. Granted, you wouldn’t know that unless you lived fairly close to me, as our internet service was down and I just ranted out loud.

We have been using the free wireless internet provided by our landlord for the last month or so, and it is a bit spotty at times. The last couple of days though, it has been out more than on, and that is starting to be a bit of bother. So I went into my office and built a machine out of scrap parts and I’m currently using that for my internet needs. As I type I’m working using the Dyne:Bolic live cd of linux. It has lots of cool stuff that I will probably never use, but it works on effectively no resources and it will truly trip up my office mate if he ever attempts to use the computer and that’s worth the effort right there.

On a completely different topic, I’ve been using a straight razor to shave lately. I have to say it is really quite an experience to have something that sharp that close to major arteries. I’m also a little confounded that the Jews never really got into shaving. You see, if you look at most Jewish customs you get a sense that they really love ritual, almost as much as the Catholics. And nothing is a more ritual activity than shaving with a straight razor, and since pre-18th century all razors were cut-throats it stands to reason that those inclined to ritual would fall in love with them.

When you shave with a safety razor the deal is pretty simple: apply shaving soap of choice, scrape face, and you’re done. Now, with a straight razor there are a few more steps, some involving incense and the sacrifice of a small furry creature. No I’m not kidding.

First you need to lather up. This is best accomplished with a brush and bar of shave soap, usually scented. The best brushes come from badgers, which are normally killed in order to be made into soup, and a shave brush.

Next you have to strop your razor. This aligns the edge into a perfectly straight line. You can skip this step if you live in a pyramid.

Then you lather again. I know you haven’t actually shaved yet, but you lather a second time prior to shaving and after stropping.

Then you hold the razor in it’s mystic configuration that’s far to hard to explain without pictures. And you scrape your face while maintaining the blade at the proper angle to cut through hair without pulling it out slicing through your face, instead, while always moving the blade at a right angle to the cutting edge. That last statement bears repeating. Only move the blade perpendicular to your face, anything else means you are drawing a razor sharp blade across your face, resulting in an extended cleanup time and a trip to the hospital.

Now, lather your face again. And shave across the grain this time.

If you’re feeling up to it, lather again and shave against the grain.

Finally, hang your brush and razor to dry and apply after shave. It is best to use an after shave with the least amount of alcohol possible. Unless shaving is part of your “waking up” ritual. In which case, a splash of alcohol on a number of open wounds is sure to have you ready to meet your day in a jiffy.

And that’s the mystic ritual of the straight razor, in a very condensed version. It can get much more complicated, but not much simpler.

Tune in tomorrow when I try to get to my office at a decent hour to get some work done, and fail again.