Drunken Pumpkin

We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. I have prepared one of my own. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder, and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like.

I haven’t seen 3:10 to Yuma, but I really want to despite the silly review tagline. In the trailers it says “3:10 to Yuma is the best western since Unforgiven.” Wasn’t that pretty much the last Western?

The true irony, I think, of the Western genre is the predominance of non-Americans in pivotal roles. Take 3:10 to Yuma for instance. The main characters are played by a kiwi and a brit. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just a little strange.

And let’s look back at that last great Western Unforgiven. Shot in Canada, except for one sequence. Odd, don’t you think?

But surely, the Westerns of a bygone era were shot in the U.S. Who else would be that interested in our history, besides us? Apparently, the Spanish and the Italians for a start. Most of Clint Eastwoods early Westerns were called Spaghetti Westerns for a reason. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly; A Fistful of Dollars; and For a Few Dollars More were all fillmed in Spain by the Italian Sergio Leone. Strange.

Not only that, but Al Swearingen, from HBO’s “Deadwood” is played by UK born Ian McShane. But it is filmed in the states, California, to be exact.

Now, what I don’t get is why some of these things aren’t filmed in the American West. I’ve been through South Dakota and Wyoming and such. There’s nothing there. No one to bother. And a lot of those ranchers probably wouldn’t even know you were there until the electric bill showed up. The American West is chock full of scenery, and not much else, so why aren’t Western filmmakers taking advantage of this?

Of course, like all rules, this one has an exception. John Wayne. Wayne made Westerns in the west. A quick survey shows filming locations in Utah, Colorado, and Arizona. Places with little else but scenery. See, it can be done.

So, next time you’re thinking, “I should make a Western” give Wyoming some thought. And remember to thank me in the credits.

Tune in tomorrow for more sage advice. And maybe some onion advice as well.