My Wife is not Right

This is an actual google chat from my wife:

These messages were sent while you were offline.

3:32 PM
Mrs. Pyro: Puny Mortal!
Kneel before the might of my caffinated army!
bwa-ha-ha-ha

3:34 PM
Beware, or you shall be subject to a rain of poultry, the likes of which have never before been seen by Man!

mwa-ha-ha

And you people think I’m weird.