Drunken Pumpkin

I hate anime (or Japanimation) as it is also referred to. However, I refuse to us the latter term as it implies some from of animation. As is very obvious, Anime contains no animation. It is more like a flip book with pages missing or maybe the exact same page for half the book. It does not support the definition of animation with its poorly articulated mouth movements and maddening repetition of foreground action. Yes, I know many cartoons repeat the background for economical purposes, but Anime unapologetically throws the same picture at you for at least a solid 96 frames.

Now we will deal with the Plot/story or the lack thereof. Once again I have to say that Anime is lacking in this aspect as well. At its worst the story is completely incomprehensible. This maybe due to something being lost in translation; however I suspect it is due to the fact that Americans just eat up Anime. The Japanese sit there (in Japan) and are astonished that Anime actually has popularity in America. That is why they exported it to us in the first place; they didn’t like it and justifiably so. They keep making the plot more and more impenetrable to see how substandard it can get before we stop consuming it. My fear is that we won’t.

Finally we deal with the Anime story at its best, or worst, depending on your preference for sexual debauchery. Yes it seems the only Anime with clear stories also happen to contain disconcerting levels of sexual violation. Although I have to admit that any level of sexual violation is disturbing, the levels in Anime will leave you feeling that you’ve just committed a crime by watching it. Or, at the very least, it will feel as though there is a dead body hidden somewhere in you home. I think I can safely assume that these types of Anime films are written and produced by Japanese males. If they are made by Japanese females than there truly is no hope for humanity. What happens to someone’s mind that makes them think 8,000 40 ft. long penises coming out the palm of some superhero’s hand and proceeding to violate and kill all females is, in any way, acceptable entertainment. There truly is no redeemable quality in Anime. Stop watching it before it’s too late.

SCRATCH

I’ve been watching a lot of BBC shows on DVD lately. Actually, scratch that, I’ve watched a lot of BBC shows for a very long time. But I’ve noticed something about them; their half hour shows are usually pretty close to half an hour. Now, I know you’re thinking, “Of course they are. What else would they be?” But you would be wrong.

If you watch an American half hour program it usually clocks in at around twenty to twenty-five minutes. The rest of the half hour is made up of commercials, which isn’t really the case with BBC shows. The reason being is that the UK charges a TV license and most of the BBC’s capital comes from those licenses. Hence, no real need for lots of commercials. In the U.S. this isn’t the case and we get to watch a bunch of ads.

I don’t have a problem with that, per se. However, I recently got cable, and I’m still watching a lot of ads, even on programs made specifically for cable. I find that a little bit irritating. What it really comes down to is I paid for them to advertise something to me. I must admit, though, my favorite ads are those for my cable provider. I’m not sure why they feel the need to ask me to give them money, when I clearly already have.

I’m not sure what we could do about this cable menace, but it seems downright peculiar to pay for someone to tell us where to shop and what drugs to take. No wait, we do that all the time anyway. I guess it all makes sense now, cable helps us be less responsible for our own lives, and that makes it okay.

Tune in tomorrow, when my anger goes to satelite radio.

1. Never tell them everything you know.

I’ve been a little cloistered lately, and haven’t seen much of the world. Looking back over the last few months this has started edging toward a blog, and that’s no good.

I need to rethink my strategy. I need to learn to hate the world again. Then I can sit back and throw feces at people and laugh. Then we’ll have a gay old time.

Sister, you’re trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I’m done, I’m finished, I’m going to die.

Spoken to his nurse
playwright
died November 2, 1950

Just like coffee the older I get the more bitter I become.

Feel free to throw that one around, I’m pretty proud of it.

Though I have to admit that it doesn’t hold a candle to Jhonen Vasquez’s “This computer fills me with pure nougat filled hatred.” But I do my best.