The Joy of Teeth
I really think Scratch had the right idea when he said he wanted to have all of his teeth pulled and those snazzy ceramic implants soldered into his head.
To be quite frank, my oral hygene has never been quite as good as it should be. Lately, I’ve been paying the price for that bit of sloth. I’ve been to the dentist every couple of weeks since the beginning of the year. Not only is that expensive, it hurts like hell. Now it looks like I might need another root canal.
If you’ve never had a root canal, just take the term apart. “Root” as in, the bit with all of the nerves and stuff that mounts your pearly whites into your noggin, and “canal” as in, trench. Yep, it’s a canal through the root. They even “irrigate” the canal when they’re done. Doesn’t that sound like fun? I know it was last time I had one. On the bonus side, root canals are expensive, too.
I’ve pondered what on earth would make someone become a dentist on purpose. The only thing that really comes to mind is Steve Martin’s character in Little Shop of Horrors. You know the guy that sings about causing pain.
On a side note Steve Martin also played a dentist in the film Novocaine.
Don’t ask me why I brought that up. I’m currently dosed with Vicodin, until the doctor decides he does need to perform the good old root canal, so things aren’t quite right with me, presently.
Tune in next time when I search craigslist for someone else’s teeth in hopes of swapping them for mine.
