This photo must be used in a horror movie.

Thus, we’d like to present a translation guide to help in zeroing in on what employment advertisements are actually seeking.

Competitive Salary ~ We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.

Join our fast-paced company ~ We have no time to train you.

Casual work atmosphere ~ We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

Some overtime required ~ Some every night and some every weekend.

Duties will vary ~ Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must have an eye for detail ~ We have no quality assurance.

Career-minded ~ Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

Apply in person ~ If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.

Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience ~ You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.

Problem-solving skills a must ~ You’re walking into perpetual chaos.

Requires team leadership skills ~ You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

Good communication skills ~ Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.