Drunken Pumpkin

Fixed!

Safari doesn’t like the Wordpress interface.

This nativity scene was discovered at a retirement community. Looks like someone has not been taking their old people meds.

Use this turkey as a centerpiece for the children’s table at Thanksgiving! A pumpkin is used for the turkey’s body, and you and your kids add the head, wings and feathers.
Things You’ll Need
• Thick Craft Glues
• Wooden Skewers
• Bedsheets
• Crayons
• Miniature Pumpkins
• Thin Cardboard
• Pumpkins
• Popsicle Sticks
• Scissors
• Sharp Knife
• Toothpicks
• Old Newspapers
• Construction paper
• Felt tip pens
• Push Pins
• Thumbtacks

Determine the size of pumpkin to be used. One large pumpkin or several small ones? The size of the pumpkin will determine the size of the construction paper cutouts you make.

Clear off a large table or other work surface and cover with an old bedsheet or newspaper to protect the surface.

Draw two turkey heads ‘ front and back - 10 feathers and a right and left wing onto construction paper for each pumpkin turkey to be made. Use brown paper for the head and use autumn-colored paper - brown, green, orange, dark blue - for the wings and feathers. Make sure to include the turkey’s neck in your head pieces.

Use crayons or markers to color in drawings and use scissors to cut out the shapes. Color only on one side, though. The feathers and turkey heads will be glued back-to-back to make five feathers and one head. The wings won’t be glued together, but draw on only one side of those as well.

Reinforce the cutouts made for large turkeys by gluing them onto thin cardboard and then cutting them out again. Because you are going to be gluing the feather cutouts and the head cutouts together, affix cardboard to only half of the feathers and one head piece.

Place a thin layer of glue on the back of one of the head pieces. Position a Popsicle stick or wooden skewer on the back of the cutout so that half of the stick extends from the bottom of the turkey’s neck and the other half is glued on to the back of the cutout.

Place the two turkey heads together, back to back, so that they are stuck together by the glue applied earlier and so that the Popsicle stick or wooden skewer is sandwiched between the two pieces. Repeat for the feathers. Allow the glue to dry.

Use a knife, scissors or an extra Popsicle stick or wooden skewer to make small holes through the pumpkin’s skin where the head and feathers will go. Push cutouts into the pumpkin so that the feathers fan out behind the turkey’s head.

Glue the wings to the side of the pumpkin. Use thumbtacks or push pins to hold wings in place while the glue dries. Remove tacks or pins, and you’re done!

Tips & Warnings
• Use a large pumpkin for a centerpiece and several smaller ones to mark your children’s places at their table. You or they can write their names on the fronts of the miniature pumpkins with a black felt-tip pen.
• Cut 20 feather pieces for a large pumpkin turkey. This will give you 10 feathers to place on the turkey’s body.
• Use children’s Thanksgiving books and coloring books to find models for your construction paper cutouts.
• Make sure that the cutouts that you and your children make are in proportion to the size of pumpkin used. Try out different-size heads, wings and feathers. The head should sit toward the front of the pumpkin, and the feathers should fan out behind the head.
• Glue a piece of cardboard onto the back of one of the turkey head pieces before you cut the shape out of construction paper. This will help you keep a large turkey head erect.
• Use toothpicks instead of Popsicle sticks or wooden skewers for small cutouts.

“But she told me she was sixteen, officer!”

I don’t mean to make a gross generalizations (yes I do), but stereotypes exist because there is truth in them. I am willing to say with 90% certainty that any deer urine dealer would look like this.

I hate anime (or Japanimation) as it is also referred to. However, I refuse to us the latter term as it implies some from of animation. As is very obvious, Anime contains no animation. It is more like a flip book with pages missing or maybe the exact same page for half the book. It does not support the definition of animation with its poorly articulated mouth movements and maddening repetition of foreground action. Yes, I know many cartoons repeat the background for economical purposes, but Anime unapologetically throws the same picture at you for at least a solid 96 frames.

Now we will deal with the Plot/story or the lack thereof. Once again I have to say that Anime is lacking in this aspect as well. At its worst the story is completely incomprehensible. This maybe due to something being lost in translation; however I suspect it is due to the fact that Americans just eat up Anime. The Japanese sit there (in Japan) and are astonished that Anime actually has popularity in America. That is why they exported it to us in the first place; they didn’t like it and justifiably so. They keep making the plot more and more impenetrable to see how substandard it can get before we stop consuming it. My fear is that we won’t.

Finally we deal with the Anime story at its best, or worst, depending on your preference for sexual debauchery. Yes it seems the only Anime with clear stories also happen to contain disconcerting levels of sexual violation. Although I have to admit that any level of sexual violation is disturbing, the levels in Anime will leave you feeling that you’ve just committed a crime by watching it. Or, at the very least, it will feel as though there is a dead body hidden somewhere in you home. I think I can safely assume that these types of Anime films are written and produced by Japanese males. If they are made by Japanese females than there truly is no hope for humanity. What happens to someone’s mind that makes them think 8,000 40 ft. long penises coming out the palm of some superhero’s hand and proceeding to violate and kill all females is, in any way, acceptable entertainment. There truly is no redeemable quality in Anime. Stop watching it before it’s too late.

SCRATCH

Have no fear your high octane coffee is here.

And it’s excuse, not accuse. I’ve had a lot of coffee. Leave me alone.

Here’s a little tale about a small town in Indiana.

Look for more input from Scratch in the near future.